The Internet is my only friend

Most people would be unhappy with the fact that they have no one to call a ‘friend’.

Not me.

I can literally say that I don’t have any friends. I have acquaintances which I rarely see or speak to and that’s OK with me. Because over the years I have asked myself so many questions trying to figure out the reason why I don’t have any friends, and when coming up with the same conclusions continuously, finally decided and accepted that this is my life- friendless-and I’m OK with that now.

I think the main reason I don’t have many friends is the fact that I have a ‘don’t care’ attitude to most things.
A lot of people use gossip as a form of interaction with others and this will usually form and bond a friendship, but I would rather have no friends at all then to succumb to the world of backstabbing gossip, because I can guarantee that if someone is telling you something about someone else, they are 99% doing the same thing to someone else about you too.
So with gossip being the main form of friendship, I guess I’m screwed.

People also love the art of pointless conversation, where as I hate it. My hubby is constantly trying to teach me how to do it, but I prefer only to speak if there is something worth speaking about, otherwise I stay silent.
Others will forever go on about the most random pointless shit that no one really cares about, which makes me think they must love the sound of their own voice. Why else would they turn a what could have been 5 minute story into a 20 minute lecture?

And then there’s the fact that when I do speak because obviously I think I have something worth saying and think that people might be interested in what I have to say, it turns out they aren’t because they quickly change the subject; turn the conversation back onto themselves or start to look around showing their utmost disinterest, which tells me they tuned out a long time ago, which will cause me to either cut my story short because I think I’m torturing them if I continue any longer or test my theory by saying “And then I went to the moon and it was wonderful up there” until they tune back in.
They can deny tuning out all they like, but when the moon comes into my story, there’s no denying!

I do nothing but listen to every word someone is saying to me and I do not interrupt them until they have finished, but obviously it’s too much to ask for the same in return.

And for those reasons, I choose to be friendless with now a small inclination of social anxiety because I now think that no one will want to hear what I have to say, so I say nothing at all.

Other reasons I have ended up friendless is the fact that I don’t really know who to associate with or where to find them.
I can’t interact with other woman my age because they are all mothers, so the topic of children disinterests me because I simply can’t relate.
I don’t know anyone around my age, in a similar situation to me, which is in a relationship or married and with no children.

With trying to find a person in a similar life situation as me, I also need to find one who makes the time to genuinely listen to what I have to say and mean it, so until that day comes, I am happy to live in my own little bubble and call the internet my only friend where I have people read what I have to say (hopefully) because this form of friendship never lets me down and having WordPress email me notifications of likes and comments, makes me feel just that little bit special.

Melzy

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “The Internet is my only friend

  1. Hey! This sounds like me! My old friends were doing the same shit from our 20’s into their 30’s while I moved on to other things. When I used to catch up with them after a few months, they would always talk about our past encounters ad nauseam. BORING. When I see them on occasion, they are strangers and I’m sorry to say I don’t care anymore.

    Like

  2. I also tend to regard the internet as my only friend; I call people in real life who I talk to my “acquaintances” because it feels wrong to call them my friends. I don’t really like going out to do things or do whatever the hell friends do and I much prefer spending time alone or just one-on-one time with my boyfriend. Crowds are not my thing, neither is small talk. I don’t see much point in talking about something that doesn’t have substance to it. But that’s just me. Instead, I include myself in conversations by being humorous, butting in with relevant jokes and stuff. It keeps me just on the outskirts of the conversation enough to be included and not included. XD

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  3. Like your other readers — “sounds like me!”
    I have made a few interesting acquaintances by finding people with common interests on MEETUP.COM. Who knows, one or two might become friends.

    Liked by 1 person

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